If home’s where your heart is then I’m out of place.

Lord, won’t you give me the strength to make it through somehow.

I’ve never been more homesick than now.      “Homesick” by MercyMe

Today would have been Randy’s 60th birthday.  We should have been having a silly party with videos and pictures and black decorations that said “Over the Hill.”  Instead, we had a quiet family dinner where Diane gave me a gift that Dad had bought for me before he died….a journal with a K on the front, all blinged out with pink rhinestones – to match my “nose thing.”

I miss him so much.  I miss his big hearty laugh filling the room.  I miss his corny jokes and plays on words.  I miss his big warm hugs and “I love you, girl.”  I miss seeing him do anything in the world the boys wanted to do.  He was such a good man.  More than anything else, I miss his acceptance.  He was one of the very few people in this world that I felt completely accepted by.  I knew beyond a doubt that he loved me unconditionally, with all my quirks.  He enjoyed my weird sense of humor because he had one too.  I could totally be myself, let it all hang out, and he would love me for it.  I miss that.  He was a safe place for me, a place that is gone now.  It hurts a lot and makes me miss him all the more.