I said I would detail my conversational relationship with God in part two of this post. This might be a bit like watching me rebuild an engine, searching for missing screws and parts and in the end being left with extra screws and parts. And the engine doesn’t actually work anymore, either. I’m really not sure what I’m doing.

Part 1 of this post was meant, honestly, to explain to myself a little of what my day is like. I read back over it and thought wow, I sure do think I have to line up a lot of stuff to make myself feel disciplined. Truthfully I’m not sure I would feel disciplined if I were a monk. And the Lord knows I do NOT want to be a monk. I’ve taken a vow against celibacy. But the list I compiled is truthful regarding my best days as far as discipline. In reality my best days are the ones where I talk to God and trust that he is there whether I sense it or not.

Three months from now I could probably rewrite much of Part 1. It seems I’m like De Leon, constantly searching for the Fountain, never really finding it and wondering all along if it was ever really there to begin with. But I do find it, and I find it often, except the Fountain I am searching for is always moving to a new location. Sometimes it moves to a new location when I am drinking from it or swimming in it or sleeping by it. I get annoyed when it moves, but when I find it again its water is bigger, deeper and sweeter than before.

I don’t know why but I remember believing and talking long ago about how God doesn’t speak to people nowadays. It was just a New Testament thing, I’d say, or maybe God is too busy running Christian colleges and what not. That sounded intellectual at the time so I went with it. After all, we’re much busier people than we were 20 years ago so why would He not be as busy as we are? Failing to return voicemails (“Who is it….oh, it’s Balaam’s ass…I will NOT do that again. But man that was funny.“) or checking his fantasy baseball team (which always wins) or spending some Father/Son time by the Crystal Sea or forwarding Satan a bunch of “funny” emails that just clog up his inbox.

Then sometime in November 2000, God decided he was tired of me believing that junk about him not talking to people. I had searched. Truly I had. But ready to give up, God showed me why he’s God. Being more merciful and gracious than I will ever understand, he spoke. And I heard. [Read the story here].

I don’t know when I first heard him again, though. It may have been years, but I at least knew the world was bigger than what I could see, and that God was bigger than I could explain away. I’ve since stopped trying. Lord, forgive me and help me if I ever have you figured out. I will be doomed when that day arrives. Keep me from it.

Developing a daily, conversational relationship with God is not easy. I claim no expertise. I only know it is available. For years I didn’t understand the role of the Spirit. I still don’t. But at least I can confirm his work. I can sense him in my heart. I can’t describe it so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

There are a few resources I would recommend. I’ll list them at the bottom. I recommend them because they don’t treat God as a formula to figure out. God has no bullet points, no list. Much of the Bible appears that way or is presented that way but look at the narrative behind all of that and you’ll find a Story more amazing than any Best Picture winner. (And many if not all of those Best Picture winners have striking similarities to the Story God is writing).

But before you do anything I think I’d simply recommend talking to God and asking him two questions. The first is to ask what you think of yourself. “God, what do I think of me?” That’s an easy one. Listen. Answer (out loud…all of this is out loud).

The hard part is the follow up, and the answer will change your life forever. “God, what do You think of me?”

Listen. Soak it in. Cry. Praise.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked that question. The answer is always right.

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Recommended Resources
Walking With God by John Eldredge
Developing a Conversational Relationship With God by Ransomed Heart (CD or mp3)
Hearing God by Dallas Willard
Isaiah 50:4; 2 Samuel 2:1; John 10:1-16; Revelation 3:20 – among many others (remember the Bible is a book of examples, not exceptions)

We’re in Chattanooga for 3 days. Here’s the day 1.5 recap.

- Kissed a chimp (through 1-inch glass) at the zoo
- Walked across a very large bridge
- Ate some good pizza at Mudpie Restaurant
- Watched a Steven Curtis Chapman concert from my hotel window
- Played at the Discovery Museum with the family
- Lost to Noah at an oversized game of checkers
- Went swimming
- Read more of a good book and did nothing for several hours

Photos to come. If you need access to our Flickr account you’ll have to request it. Just email me. Photos are private, for the most part.

Watch this. As in watch it now.

If you’re inspired (I love this story) I highly recommend reading Henri Nouwen’s The Return of the Prodigal Son which is about his story of interaction with this parable and the Rembrandt painting of the same name, and more importantly of his homecoming.

Ok, I’ve been absent from blogging for a while. Here’s the summary of what’s been happening.

I have been keeping up with my Bible reading. Haven’t posted, but I have been reading.

I had two dentist appointments to fix 8 teeth. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I have one more appointment. You’re thinking, “Doesn’t he own a toothbrush?” Let’s just say that it was from neglect many years ago. I floss every day now. Do you? That’s what I thought.

I went to Colorado and climbed a mountain.

Then I rode a horse named Toy. Don’t ask. One guy had Shadow. I had Toy.

Then I crawled through the trees and jumped off a 40 foot platform. I thought it was at least 300 feet, but apparently not. Seems distance is measured differently when you are the one jumping off the 300 foot 40 foot platform.

I then got new glasses. I’m not sure where the old ones went. I’m sure Elijah has a stash somewhere that includes my glasses, Noah’s glasses, and about $86 in cash and prizes.

Elijah turned three. It’s killing me. Noah turns seven in a few months. That’s killing me even more.

Next week we’re going to Georgia to see Mom and Dad.

We’ve also been keeping my niece, Raina. Between her, Noah and Elijah, there have been interesting conversations. For example:

Kristi: Let’s go to Little Caesars tonight.
Noah: Yeah! Little Caesars!
Raina: I had a Caesar (seizure) once. I had to ride in the alience (ambulance).
Noah (frustrated): Raina. It must have been a dream. There’s no such thing as aliens. dreaming.

And so it goes.

I went rappelling for the first time yesterday. We went to Stone Door near Tracy City/Altamont, Tennessee. Greg Henson set up the ropes for me and Grant to give this a shot. Yes, I was nervous. Yes, I had second thoughts. Yes, I went over the edge. It was amazing. Proof (if you dare doubt me) is below.

Noah also made it this trip, his first official hike. I set him up with his first pocket knife, as well. We also too camping bacon. Of course.

We spent the night at Alum Gap. As far as weather, it may be the best 2 days I’ve ever had outside – and it was in AUGUST IN TENNESSEE. The world must be coming to an end.

And, of course, we ended the trip with a stop at Sonic for ice cream and sweet tea. Life is good.