Restored
I’d previously and briefly mentioned rest and restoration and it’s gotten back to me again. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the day. In fact, it’s crippling. I find myself yearning for a day off just to sit and read and write. Work becomes more difficult. Tedious instead of joyful. Annoying, even. But not that annoying because, at least, I know what the Thief is up to.
When we took our vacation in November, I returned truly restored. It was miraculous. It was as if I had discovered the fountain of youth, when it had been there since the beginning. So I’m returning to Sabbath as best I can (meaning, here, a day of rest, not necessarily a weekly religiously established holiday). No checking out. No endless television watching. No prayer because I’m supposed to pray. Prayer because I want to pray and do it all the time and love it, even when I hate it and it’s the hardest thing to do at the time (because it always brings freedom). Reading because it encourages and inspires me, not because I want to get a book read to get to the next one in the ever-growing stack. Time with my kids because they bring life, not because I’m supposed to spend time with them in order to be considered a good dad. Putting away the internal to-do list because life should not be one big blasted to-do list.
The past few weeks have been a hell, of sorts, at least spiritually speaking. A few weeks ago, Noah mentioned his headache (which has lingered) and how he prayed for it to go away because he thought Satan was after him (which is entirely possible, John 10:10). What a good kid. I said that I would pray over him, too. He said, “I already did it, you don’t have to,” to which I replied, “Yes, you did, and that’s good. But Daddy has a little more experience with this and has kicked the devil’s butt a few times. So let me have a go at it.” He laughed. We prayed. The devil apparently took that personally, however. So two weeks of assault ended Monday. I had been praying, but finally prayed REAL prayers. The struggle lifted.
Then Kristi calls an hour later. All hell is breaking loose at home. Disobedience, whining, fighting, anger – the thief had jumped on my family. The struggle hadn’t lifted. It had just shifted fronts. I should have known. This has happened before. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s the last. This is one man who will not easily forget who has attacked his family, nor will I remain on the defensive.
So when times get tough we eat out. It seems to be a healing avenue for us. I don’t know why. Thankfully we don’t need this kind of healing often or we’d be broke. I came home a bit early that day, grabbed everyone up (even though we were all still shaking the day off) and headed to Chili’s. Two hours later, after dinner and some internal prayer…no more battle. As a side note, I did overhear the couple behind me complain to the waiter about how bad their meal was (we looked and they had eaten nearly everything, by the way. Must have been horrible). It was like a parting shot on the day, a final measly grenade launched in our direction, missing terribly. “Oh no you didn’t,” I thought. Now, we had the same waiter. Let’s just say he got a big tip to counter people who think waiters and waitresses are their personal servants and to counter Thieves who attempt to steal joy out of my life or the lives of those I encounter.
So all that to say this (maybe): more than anything right now, I think Satan is after our joy. I fall into busyness, which is joyless, and restless. When I do have down time, never do I turn to God and ask him to give me rest. I turn on the computer or find some project at home or turn on the TV to take my mind off things. I don’t even like watching TV, so why would I turn it on? I’ve talked about this with Kristi and we’re going to make an effort at purposeful rest. Restoration for our family on a regular basis. The sad part is, I instinctively go to my calendar and think, “When can I work in a day of rest?” How sad.
Dear God, you are so kind. “Train a child in the way he should go,” you said, and you’re still at it. Thank you. Thank you for offering us restoration. And thank you for the joy of life that you offer through so many things.
read moreNew Year’s Resolutions (2009 Edition)
Last December 18 I set out to do several things in 2008.
- “I will buy no new clothes. Now, many who know me may think I’ve been doing this challenge since 1997. And it is true that I don’t buy a lot of clothes. But for 2008, and possibly 2009, I will wear only what I currently have or what is given to me, and anything that is given to me will replace something I already have or be given away. Note that the no-new-clothes thing does not apply to socks and underwear. You’ll thank me for that later.
And how have I done? No new clothes, except that which was given to me. I was given one youth group tshirt, one youth group hoodie, one Fender hoodie (from my mom, no doubt…and it’s an awesome hoodie, thank you), and one or two other shirts, I think. I think I still need to rid myself of one jacket (which the Fender hoodie replaced) and one tshirt. Those items will go to Goodwill or ARC or the guy under the bridge.
I will continue this pledge for 2009, and likely forever (save socks and underwear, remember).
The resolution continued:
- “I have vices (don’t get crazy on the speculations), none of which I really want to dispose of, and I don’t see the need in disposing of them if my conscience is clear.”
No more cigars for me. Not because I wanted to, but because my new health coverage won’t allow it. Fair enough.
- “I do want to hone my ministry, my daily work, and become much better at it. I plan on accomplishing this (or trying to, anyway) by stepping into things I would not normally step into, following God’s lead instead of my own.”
Check aaaaannnnd check. Aaron and I started Innate Productions in August and are hoping to shoot the first scene of our first short film in January.
- “And I feel led to not say “yes” to so many requests, especially those that will take time away from family or the work I have specifically been charged to do. That will mean some will get angry with me for telling them no, but my prayer is that they will instead be inspired to do more themselves (with hidden talents they might be afraid to use) or find someone else who might be longing to fulfill such valid requests.”
Not so sure about the latter part of that hopeful paragraph, but I did say no to more things until being such a disappointment to so many people became so overwhelming I just gave up and started back to saying “yes” to most everything. Shame on me. There’s got to be a better way.
- “I want to read more, but I doubt I’ll do it. I read a lot more this year, but it’s still hard for me to concentrate on a book (unless, apparently, it’s on the level of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which I read this year and adored). I also want to write more, which I started into a few months ago after a several month hiatus. Nothing much ever comes of my writing time, but I’m actually trying my hand at a book now. We’ll see what happens.
Well, I’ve gotten no farther on writing that book but I did read a lot more. Here’s the list.
- Walking With God by John Eldredge (working on it the 2nd time now)
- The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
- The Daily Bible (almost done)
- Pop Goes the Church by Tim Stevens
- Many children’s books – yes, they count
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (again)
- Stuart Little
- Charlotte’s Web
- Two Harry Potter books (I think they were this year)
- The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan
- The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge
- Too Small To Ignore by Wess Stafford (Compassion International)
- Everything Must Change by Brian McLaren
- The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen
- Reveal by Greg Hawkins
- unChristian by David Kinnaman
My reading of the Daily Bible is almost complete. It’s changed my life in many ways. I will likely not do it again in 2009, however, but switch to another daily study as well as start the daily readings in “Diary of an Old Soul” by George MacDonald.
And here is at least a partial list of goals for 2009, in addition to any I hinted at above.
1. Travel to at least 1 foreign country.
2. While in Chicago, get to the Tigers vs. White Sox game. Highly important, I know.
3. Complete and release a short film, as well as enter it into at least one film festival.
4. Hike again. I’ve missed it so much.
5. Read at least book 1 of 4, Twilight, to better understand my wife :).
6. Take another family vacation.
Auditorium
Forget actually playing the game (which is not necessarily easy after a few rounds), I think I just want to sit and be mesmerized.
Have fun: http://playauditorium.com
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Update: There seems to be 3 levels in this demo version, each of those levels containing 5 or 6 challenges. I made it through them all. Take that! Cool little game.
read moreAbout Brian
Idea guy. Artist intercessor. Encourager, if at all possible. Live the best story you can live and bring forth the things God puts on your heart to create. The world is not as it should be if you ignore your calling, if you ignore that still small voice. If you ignore it, you deprive the rest of us of the voice of God through you. Don’t miss it. It’s the adrenaline of the soul.
